And reading books will never come close to that
It seems like these days, everyone is calling themselves a coach.
And technically—they can. Coaching isn’t a regulated industry. Anyone can slap “coach” on their Instagram bio, buy a certificate online, and start charging for sessions.
But here’s the problem: while anyone can become a coach, not everyone should.
Because the best coaches aren’t just teaching theory. They’ve lived it.
The IT “Entrepreneur Coach”
Years ago, a friend told me her sister quit her IT job to become an entrepreneur coach.
She had zero experience running a business, but she found a course online that promised to teach her how to coach entrepreneurs. Apparently, entrepreneurs were considered a “revenue-rich niche” at the time (LOL).
She spent money on the course, set up shop… and got zero paying clients. Eventually, her old company replaced her role, and she had to go find a completely different job.
It wasn’t a surprise. Because no matter how much you study, you can’t skip the emotional weight of entrepreneurship—the risk, the uncertainty, the responsibility. And clients can feel the difference.
When Book Knowledge Falls Flat
One coach I worked with had never run a business either.
To his credit, he was smart, well-read, and had great insights into HR and communication. But when it came to the reality of entrepreneurship, his lack of lived experience showed.
I’ll never forget the session where I was drowning in overwhelm. I knew I needed to hire help, but I also knew what that actually entailed—writing job descriptions, sourcing candidates, reviewing resumes, interviewing, negotiating, onboarding, training…all while working 80+ hours a week. Oh, and figuring out how to pay for it.
When I explained this, his answer was:
“Just hire someone.”
Like, that’s it. So stupid-easy.
I wanted to scream.
That’s not advice—that’s a kick in the face. It made me realize that without real-world experience, some coaching feels dismissive, even insulting.
Why Lived Experience Matters
When I work with women facing burnout, I don’t tell them to “just work less.” (Yes, an actual doctor once said that to me. I thought my head was going to explode.)
Instead, I go back to who I was in that season of life—overwhelmed, exhausted, and unable to imagine adding one more thing to my plate. I think about what I needed to hear back then, and that’s the space I coach from.
Real support doesn’t come from lofty advice. It comes from grounded, compassionate conversations about what’s really happening and how to take the next doable step forward.
The Coaches Who Changed Everything
My favorite coaches have all had one thing in common: they’d been through it themselves.
They’d built businesses from the ground up.
They’d made mistakes, taken risks, poured in their time and energy, and learned the hard way.
And because of that, they never made me feel like I was failing. They didn’t dismiss my challenges or hand me cookie-cutter solutions. They got it. They knew entrepreneurship is nuanced.
Sometimes the “book answer” works.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
And only someone who’s been there can help you tell the difference.
The best coaches don’t just have knowledge—they have lived experience. And when you’re in the messy middle of it all, that lived experience can make the difference between feeling dismissed and feeling deeply understood.
-Amanda
