Why “remember?” doesn’t work

Very often I’ll watch caregivers interact with their loved ones who have dementia. And, very often, I’ll hear them repeat this phrase: “Remember, I told you that…?” It’s a real pet peeve of mine. Your loved one with dementia doesn’t remember. What happens when you ask them… “Do you remember what you had for breakfast?” “Don’tContinue reading “Why “remember?” doesn’t work”

“If I keep reminding her, she’ll remember.”

Mary Ellen’s daughter, Jenna, was frustrated. “Mom keeps thinking that dad is still alive,” she sighed. “I keep reminding her that he died years ago. I think that, eventually, if I keep reminding her, she’ll remember.” I tried my best to explain to Mary Ellen’s daughter that this just wasn’t the case. It doesn’t matterContinue reading ““If I keep reminding her, she’ll remember.””

If I Tell Him Enough, He Will Remember.

So many caregivers feel that if they tell their loved one with dementia something enough times, that piece of information will stay with them.  “Dad, remember to call me every day after dinner.” “Aunt Nancy, you have to let the doctor see you tomorrow. Don’t get frustrated with the doctor and push him away.” “YourContinue reading “If I Tell Him Enough, He Will Remember.”

She Remembered Me.

I walked through the doors of an unfamiliar dementia care community, looking for a resident who had moved from our location. I was afraid she wouldn’t remember me. I was sad, too, because I missed seeing her face when I went to work. It just wasn’t the same. She had loved living in our community.Continue reading “She Remembered Me.”

Do They Know You?

Many friends, family members and acquaintances have asked me the same question: “Do your residents know who you are?” Honestly, I don’t know. Sometimes it seems like many of them do, but I can’t be sure.  What’s interesting about dementia is that a person’s long-term memories remain mostly intact throughout the course of the disease.Continue reading “Do They Know You?”

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