“Mom remembers dad, but she also has a new boyfriend.”

Anonymous writes: My mother has been in a memory care center for 2-½ years. She has recently started kissing a fellow resident even though she still recognizes my dad when he comes to visit. Most recently, she has now been found in this other man’s bed twice. My dad and my sister are using humor […]

At home, in adult day care, in assisted living…how do you know if it’s a good fit?

How can you tell if where your loved one with dementia is currently living is…well, working? How do you know if it’s the right fit? It’s pretty difficult to ask someone living with dementia what their opinion is on the subject. Even if you were to move them, would that make them happier? Would it […]

Don’t ask if they “remember your name”

If I can, I always opt to ditch my name tag in a dementia care environment. I let my friends with dementia decide what my name is: I’ve been Susan, Gwendolyn, and various peoples’ kids. I’ve been so many identities to my residents, too: a coworker, a boss, a student, a sibling, a friend from […]

The BEST communication tip I have

Here it is, the best dementia care communication tip I have for you. Although I’ve been using it (and tweaking it) for a long time now, I didn’t really “name” it until very recently. Ellen had a problem. “Dad wants to go out walking around the neighborhood, like he used to do…but he’s so confused! […]

How one woman got her husband to agree to attend adult day care

She knew that she’d have a hard time getting her husband, Ben, into adult day care. Ben loved working, and now that he was retired and had dementia, he still liked to find projects to do. Convincing him that he could benefit from adult day care certainly wasn’t going to work (and doing this with […]

HOW TO: 3 tips for keeping them engaged while you get other tasks done

“It sounds bad, but I can’t get anything done with my wife around,” Walter sighed. “She wants to ‘help,’ but I end up having to re-do her task or just stand over her shoulder the whole time, helping her do whatever it is.” I’ve heard this story many, many times over. You want your loved one with […]

Dementia and English as a Second Language

I’ve had a number of clients and residents over the years lose their ability to speak. Sometimes this happens early in the disease process, and sometimes it happens pretty late. Sometimes it never happens at all. Other times, I’ve had residents who lose their ability to speak…English. What ends up happening, for many people who […]

When a relative doesn’t “get it” that a loved one has dementia

Let’s pretend you have four siblings. You and three of your siblings understand that mom has dementia. You get it: you have been changing the way that you speak to her. You’ve been adjusting her care accordingly. You’ve been teaching dad about Embracing Her Reality and how to avoid an argument. You guys have been […]

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