“Mom remembers dad, but she also has a new boyfriend.”

Anonymous writes: My mother has been in a memory care center for 2-½ years. She has recently started kissing a fellow resident even though she still recognizes my dad when he comes to visit. Most recently, she has now been found in this other man’s bed twice. My dad and my sister are using humorContinue reading ““Mom remembers dad, but she also has a new boyfriend.””

Boating & Memories – A story by Bob G.

A story by Bob G., a reader who wrote in to Dementia By Day My brother, Al, still lives on the south shore of Long Island, New York—Bellmore to be exact. He has round-the-clock attendant nursing available. My brother has Dementia with Lewy Bodies. He also has the classic Parkinson’s symptoms. When working, Al alwaysContinue reading “Boating & Memories – A story by Bob G.”

If I Tell Him Enough, He Will Remember.

So many caregivers feel that if they tell their loved one with dementia something enough times, that piece of information will stay with them.  “Dad, remember to call me every day after dinner.” “Aunt Nancy, you have to let the doctor see you tomorrow. Don’t get frustrated with the doctor and push him away.” “YourContinue reading “If I Tell Him Enough, He Will Remember.”

A Love Letter That Will Never Be Delivered.

Vera will never read this letter. She is moving out of our community very soon and into a nearby one. I know that you aren’t supposed to have “favorites” in senior living communities. That is just impossible, though. It is impossible to avoid connecting with your residents, even if those residents have moderate to advancedContinue reading “A Love Letter That Will Never Be Delivered.”

What can biscuits teach us about dementia care?

It is not about the big parties, the birthdays, or the holiday celebrations. In dementia care, it is about the small things. It’s about the moments that most of us forget or take for granted. It’s about taking my residents out for ice cream, baking cookies with them, or putting on some of their favoriteContinue reading “What can biscuits teach us about dementia care?”

A Marriage.

A lot of people fear that their spouse or life partner will get dementia. Many people are already coping with it. It’s incredibly hard to watch someone you love struggle with cognitive decline. But what if you both had dementia? Martin* and Joyce* have been married for over fifty years. They both have dementia, butContinue reading “A Marriage.”

Read The Signs.

“Mike’s Auto Shop. Krispy Kreme Donuts, hot donuts. Sears,” she said. Vera* was reading every single sign we passed on the road. Vera’s dementia has progressed since I first met her, but, for the most part, is still able to carry on lengthy conversations and tell coherent, interesting stories. Her short-term memory is pretty damagedContinue reading “Read The Signs.”

Photographs.

I felt guilty. It’s challenging, when you have nearly 50 residents, to spend equal time with all of them, especially those that stay in their rooms most of the time, I told myself. Still, I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to see some of my residents more often. Beatrice* usually stayed in her roomContinue reading “Photographs.”

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