How to call someone who isn’t alive anymore

This post is inspired by a question I received the other day on my Facebook page about my podcast. (So many mediums to find me!) Anyway, this reader asked about her mother, who constantly wants to visit and call her own parents. My reader is distraught by how frustrated her mother is—“Why don’t they everContinue reading “How to call someone who isn’t alive anymore”

Why is “no” the default answer?

When you work in dementia care, you become accustomed to hearing the word, “no.” “No, I don’t want a shower.” “No, thanks, I don’t want to go.” “No, I already took my pills.” “No, I don’t want to do any crafts.” Sound familiar? While there are some people out there who say no just to beContinue reading “Why is “no” the default answer?”

SOLVE their fear of water

I had a reader write in recently and ask me about her grandfather’s fear of water. Although it had started with the shower, the problem had migrated to even brushing his teeth. He was afraid of the water in the sink, not just the water from the shower faucet! She asked how they could solve this issue,Continue reading “SOLVE their fear of water”

Don’t ask if they “remember your name”

If I can, I always opt to ditch my name tag in a dementia care environment. I let my friends with dementia decide what my name is: I’ve been Susan, Gwendolyn, and various peoples’ kids. I’ve been so many identities to my residents, too: a coworker, a boss, a student, a sibling, a friend fromContinue reading “Don’t ask if they “remember your name””

The BEST communication tip I have

Here it is, the best dementia care communication tip I have for you. Although I’ve been using it (and tweaking it) for a long time now, I didn’t really “name” it until very recently. Ellen had a problem. “Dad wants to go out walking around the neighborhood, like he used to do…but he’s so confused!Continue reading “The BEST communication tip I have”

How one woman got her husband to agree to attend adult day care

She knew that she’d have a hard time getting her husband, Ben, into adult day care. Ben loved working, and now that he was retired and had dementia, he still liked to find projects to do. Convincing him that he could benefit from adult day care certainly wasn’t going to work (and doing this withContinue reading “How one woman got her husband to agree to attend adult day care”

HOW TO: 3 tips for keeping them engaged while you get other tasks done

“It sounds bad, but I can’t get anything done with my wife around,” Walter sighed. “She wants to ‘help,’ but I end up having to re-do her task or just stand over her shoulder the whole time, helping her do whatever it is.” I’ve heard this story many, many times over. You want your loved one withContinue reading “HOW TO: 3 tips for keeping them engaged while you get other tasks done”

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