You’re probably grieving, but don’t realize it

*Content warning: this is probably a tear-jerker, just because we’re talking about grief and loss. When I started working in this field, I recognized that I’d be dealing with a lot of death and dying, and, therefore, grief. I wrongfully assumed that the only challenging part of the job would come into play when someoneContinue reading “You’re probably grieving, but don’t realize it”

Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery

“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.” WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan”Continue reading “Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery”

Should I remind her that her sister died?

Grace was upset. Here they came again, these people, trying to move someone into the room she shared with her sister. Hadn’t she already told them? Her sister lives here! They can’t use that bed! Her sister would be back tonight! Grace’s sister had died a few months earlier, but Grace did not remember that.Continue reading “Should I remind her that her sister died?”

What do I say when mom asks where my dad is?

It’s a question I hear often. I’ve heard it many different ways, from many different people, in many different scenarios, but it’s always the same type of question: “My ____ has passed away, and my loved one with dementia keeps asking about where they are. What do I tell my loved one?” No one wants toContinue reading “What do I say when mom asks where my dad is?”

The always-made bed

Two single beds sat beside one another. One, unmade, sheets uneven, looked as though it had just been slept in. The other, made, simple—a single sheet on it. A black winter cap lay at the head of the bed, untouched for days, maybe months on end. The rest of the room contained women’s clothing. CleanContinue reading “The always-made bed”

A Tough Conversation

Usually, when a visitor to our community tries to “correct” one of my residents, I jump in and try to save the conversation. For example, if a resident’s daughter is visiting and says, “No, mom, don’t you remember, dad died years ago!” I will try to swoop in and change the interaction so that no oneContinue reading “A Tough Conversation”

Lunch & Old Friends

A memory of mine from two years ago: I had taken a few of my residents out to lunch when I noticed a woman across the restaurant quietly observing us. It’s not uncommon for me to get a few looks or smiles when I’m out with my residents, but this woman looked as though sheContinue reading “Lunch & Old Friends”

Death & Dementia.

“What happens when your residents die? Do your other residents get upset? Do they remember that person?” many people have asked me.  Angela* has fairly advanced dementia and lives in our community. One day, we received some bad news. Her family emailed us to let us know that her husband, who lived outside the community, hadContinue reading “Death & Dementia.”

Cart Item Removed. Undo
  • No products in the cart.