Confused Enough to Be Confused

4

Have more questions and don't know where to turn?


Join our community and get access to monthly support calls, an online chat forum for questions, and even monthly 1:1 calls with Rachael! CLICK HERE for more information.

Transcript

Today’s topic is about being confused enough to be…confused.

I had a care partner say to me recently, “I feel really guilty saying this, but I wish my dad was more confused.” I totally get that, and a lot of you probably do feel this way, and it makes total sense. I say this all the time. Someone living with dementia who’s in an earlier stage of cognitive loss, they’re just confused enough to be confused, but they’re not confused enough to where they can’t tell you that you are wrong, right? They’re almost impossible to talk to because they constantly argue with you. They’re constantly telling you you’re wrong. They won’t let you put anybody in the house to help care for them. They won’t let you transition them to a community and they’re just in a tough spot, and therefore you are in a tough spot. So when you have a loved one living with dementia and you’re like, man, this person is confused, but they’re not so confused that they can’t make a really good argument as to why I’m wrong.

That’s a difficult stage. That’s usually this early moderate stage is what I’d call it – early verging into a moderate stage. And don’t feel guilty if you’re feeling this way. Don’t feel guilty like, oh my God, I really should not be wishing that my loved one was more progressed in the deceased process. Because guess what? You are not alone. That is a common feeling for people because truly early stages of cognitive loss are really tough for the person living with dementia, and they’re also really tough for the family. The person living with dementia’s aware that they have dementia, maybe they might not be fully, fully aware of it, but they know something’s up, and that’s a tough spot to be in. So don’t feel guilty if you find yourself wishing this person would progress a little bit more. It’s okay if you’re struggling with feelings like this guilt or anything else. Please consider joining my Patreon. We have a support group. We do monthly plus. We have a really great Slack channel where everybody can communicate with each other. You can chat with fellow care partners about these issues. Thanks for tuning in.

Visit my Youtube channel for more tips on Dementia Care.

Liked it? Take a second to support Rachael Wonderlin on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

16 things poster
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!

You're not alone!

Get personal support from Rachael and connect with other Caregivers when you join our community.

16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia

Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!

I wrote this poem years ago, but to date, it’s the most popular piece I’ve ever created.


When you sign up, you’ll also get access to Rachael’s weekly newsletter so that you can get her top tips, links to new content as soon as it’s released, and special offers directly in your inbox! We’ll never sell your information, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

16 things poster
Shopping Cart

Have questions?

Book a Dementia Detective
call and talk to a DBD expert!