Why dementia is not a time machine


Have more questions and don't know where to turn?

Join our community and get access to monthly support calls, an online chat forum for questions, and even monthly 1:1 calls with Rachael! CLICK HERE for more information.

Please note: this is different from what I say when I talk about Timeline Confusion(TM) in dementia.

Oh, the things I hear people say about dementia.

“She’s reverting back to how she was when she was a child,” you’ll hear people say.

Nobody with dementia is going back in time. No one is “reverting” to childhood. Dementia is not a time machine.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people make a connection between child-like behavior and the behavior of older adults with dementia.

Yes, people with dementia do seem to gain some childish behaviors as their disease progresses. This isn’t because they are “reverting” back to being children, however: it’s because they are losing things that they’ve learned as adults.

When you’re a child (and especially when you’re a teenager) you often find yourself reacting poorly to various situations: you argue, you accuse, you get yourself into trouble.

As you age, however, you learn (hopefully) how to do things differently. Your brain finally finishes forming by the time that you’re done with your mid twenties, and you make better decisions. Instead of blurting something out, you hold it in. You’ve learned to hold back, and your fully-formed brain helps you manage your speech and your behavior.

People living with dementia don’t have the same ability to control their reactions, their speech, their memory, or, eventually, even their ability to walk. The brain of someone with dementia is, quite literally, degrading slowly over time. 

But, she still isn’t “turning back into a child.” Her brain has just lost the momentous gains it made throughout her life.

I hate to compare the destruction that dementia causes in the brain to the innocence of childhood. It feels almost, to me, that we’re making dementia seem…simple. It’s as though we’re suggesting that the people who have dementia are silly and cute in the way that children are. 

When a child stumbles, he or she will probably bounce back up. When an 80-year-old man with dementia falls, the injuries he sustains could end his life.

When children make a mess feeding themselves, everyone congratulates them for trying. “Isn’t she so cute?” they’ll ask. When a woman with dementia makes a mess while eating, people shake their heads. “What a sad disease,” they’ll say.

We can’t make a simple comparison between dementia and child-like behavior. A child is a person who has not yet grown up. A person with dementia is an adult who is struggling to regain their place in the world. 

Dementia is not a time machine.

Liked it? Take a second to support Rachael Wonderlin on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

5 thoughts on “Why dementia is not a time machine”

  1. I work with folks with dementia and while I agree it’s inappropriate to look at their behavior as childish or “silly,” I believe there are some meaningful comparisons. I’ve seen folks with dementia create quick friends with each other with ease like children do. I’ve seen them fully connect with one another even though their train of conversation may not be following the same logic, as children’s conversations often do. I’ve seen folks with dementia be fully present and have moments of curiosity and wonder with the world and their surroundings in the way children do. I’ve seen family members care for folks with dementia with the love and unconditional support they were given as children. Yes, dementia takes so much away from a person- and there are some beautiful, pure moments that are similar to the moments children experience.

  2. “We can’t make a simple comparison between dementia and child-like behavior. A child is a person who has not yet grown up. A person with dementia is an adult who is struggling to regain their place in the world. “ Rachel Wonderlin

    This is my take-away quote.
    It adds to:
    *Another important piece in my grasp of what is before me.
    *Another important peace as I struggle with stunning realizations of of what is before me.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

16 things poster
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!

You're not alone!

Get personal support from Rachael and connect with other Caregivers when you join our community.

16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia

Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!

I wrote this poem years ago, but to date, it’s the most popular piece I’ve ever created.

When you sign up, you’ll also get access to Rachael’s weekly newsletter so that you can get her top tips, links to new content as soon as it’s released, and special offers directly in your inbox! We’ll never sell your information, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

16 things poster
Shopping Cart

Have questions?

Book a Dementia Detective
call and talk to a DBD expert!