This is a long and detailed question, so I usually refer people to my call service: www.rachaelwonderlin.com for better answers with me via telephone. The short answer is this: she can’t be the main go-to caregiver. She needs to hire someone else to come in and take care of them, or consider moving them to a care community. There’s also adult day care. The point is, she’s taking it all on by herself and needs someone to start shouldering that burden, someone who isn’t related to the family.