My mother has always been very independent. She has dementia and doesn't want to accept help with every day activites. She lives in a seniors residence. I want to make sure that she is bathing, brushing her teeth, washing her hands, etc. I have offered to get her someone to help her with these tasks. She refuses. What can I do?

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This senior residence—this place isn’t dementia care? I would suggest moving her into a dementia care specific community, so that they will help her get those ADLs done. The other thing is that you can’t ASK her, you just have to DO. She’s never going to WANT to hire someone, you just have to bring someone in.

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Rachael Wonderlin has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of two published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. She owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting company.

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