I care for my mother inlaw with dementia and she won't eat or get out of bed I ask her what's wrong and she is mad at her husband that he dropped her of at my house but he passed 17 months ago when I tell he he passed she gets very agitated and depressed what can I do to help her


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Stop telling her that he died! You need to embrace her reality. If she’s asking about her husband and she’s angry with him, let her be angry. Agree with her. “He shouldn’t have done that.” Ask her where she thinks he is. If she says, “He’s at work,” agree with that. I recommend picking up a copy of my book, I talk a lot about this concept.

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Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

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