Mom has been in a memory care community for a year in November. She is struggling with being there as she still doesn't believe she has any problems, hates being "locked" up, and is not as far down the path as most others there. In the past she has thrown some temper tantrums, for a lack of a better word, when in public and feeling anxious or not the center of attention. My nephew is getting married in December and we aren't sure about her coming. Any suggestions?

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Don’t bring her. Don’t feel guilty about not bringing her—just don’t do it. She’s going to be confused, and weddings are long, stressful events. It’s not going to go well.

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Rachael Wonderlin has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of two published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. She owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting company.

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