My Mom is in assisted living with Alzheimer's and has begun to be incontinent. Medical reasons have been ruled out. Problem: she refused to use briefs/pad. At the suggestion of the facility, her panties were removed and they brought briefs when dressing/showering, etc. but she will go commando instead before using a product. We used to take her out quite often as did her roommate's family but this has had to stop. Bribing doesn't work. Suggestions?

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Well, if she won’t use a product, it’s probably because she’s embarrassed. This phase will probably pass, and she will be open to using products later, but in the meantime, I would bring the panties back. I recommend panties, however, that are for women who urinate accidentally:

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Rachael Wonderlin has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of two published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. She owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting company.

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