My father is currently the primary caregiver for my mom, who is struggling with dementia. They have been married 55 years and he told her she would never have to leave their house. It's becoming more obvious to us that he won't be able to honor that promise. How can we help him get past his own guilt to eventually put her in care, for both of their sakes?


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Hi, it’s always hard when people make promises like that, because sometimes it doesn’t work out. I think he needs to understand that point exactly: he had no clue how hard it was really going to be. He’s making the best decision he can for HER health and safety by moving her. I do a lot of counseling for caregivers moving their loved ones. You can check out my caregiver hotline!

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Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of two published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

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