Hi Rachel, I talked to you several months ago about moving my mother to an assisted living in Montgomery, Al after my father died early February. I could not have asked for her move to have gone any better. She is so happy and content that she doesn't care about getting out at all away from the facility. She does not want to leave to come to my house for a meal. She has a routine there that she likes. Do I try to nudge her out some or leave her alone? Do you want to talk again? Susu Millsap


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Hi Susu! That is great that the move went so well! I don’t think it’s a bad idea to ask her to go out, but, if she’s happy and enjoys herself there, I would just let her hang out there. Many of my residents with dementia have routines, too, and I find sometimes that when that routine gets upset, that’s when they have issues. I’m really happy to hear that she’s doing well and that visits with her are going well, too. Maybe bring her a home-cooked meal and you can both enjoy it there. That way, you can still eat with her. 

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Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

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