Hi, thanks for writing in! I wouldn’t recommend visiting less often, but instead trying more structured visits. For example, find out when they are doing a bus ride and plan to go along. You may find that when you’re both participating in activities, he’s enjoying himself and enjoying your company while thinking less about going home.
My husband has been in a quality memory care community for almost 6 months. I love the people and the quality of care that he's getting… and I suspect he does too. But when I show up (almost daily) he starts complaining and wanting to 'get out of this place'. Today I went in to reports of how much he enjoyed the van ride this morning… and he was showing his good mood when I visited. But then it turned, as it so often does and he became a crying mess. I wonder if I should not visit so often.
Have more questions and don't know where to turn?
Join our community and get access to monthly support calls, an online chat forum for questions, and even monthly 1:1 calls with Rachael! CLICK HERE for more information.
Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!
You're not alone!
Get personal support from Rachael and connect with other Caregivers when you join our community.
16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!
I wrote this poem years ago, but to date, it’s the most popular piece I’ve ever created.
“16 Things” Greeting Card Bundles (10, 30, 50 pcs)$13.60 – $25.73
“16 Things” Printed Poster$12.00 – $15.00
“16 Things” Coffee Mug$16.00
“16 Things” Canvas Print$25.00 – $29.00
Support Group Patreon$10.00
Timeline Confusion eKit$20.00
16 Things Poster$0.00