The psst three years I have been s caregiver for a couple that has recently been separated because the wife has ALZ and the husbsnd has short term memory issues that made it impossible to leave her in his care. My question concerns how best to manage visits between them. I can explain to him that his wife may not know who he is; but, in the time between our talk and the visit, he forgot. He tells her that he is her husband and that causes her to be upset sometimes.

4

Have more questions and don't know where to turn?


Join our community and get access to monthly support calls, an online chat forum for questions, and even monthly 1:1 calls with Rachael! CLICK HERE for more information.

Wow, this is a tough one! I am wondering if having them visit each other is a good idea to begin with. I never want to keep loved ones apart, but it’s pretty clear that they both confuse and upset one another. So the husband just has short term memory loss? That’s it? Perhaps make him a cue card that he can look at when entering the visit. “She may not know who you are” is what the card could say. That said, it doesn’t feel like that scenario will end well, either. He may be confused by this just as much as she is. My honest recommendation is, if they need to see each other, just let them interact. I doubt any amount of coaching will help because neither can recall what you’ve advised!

Liked it? Take a second to support Rachael Wonderlin on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

16 things poster
Get the FREE “16 Things” poster!

You're not alone!

Get personal support from Rachael and connect with other Caregivers when you join our community.

16 Things I Would Want If I Got Dementia

Get the FREE “16 Things” poster for your personal use—or better yet—your dementia care community’s staff break room!

I wrote this poem years ago, but to date, it’s the most popular piece I’ve ever created.


When you sign up, you’ll also get access to Rachael’s weekly newsletter so that you can get her top tips, links to new content as soon as it’s released, and special offers directly in your inbox! We’ll never sell your information, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

16 things poster
Shopping Cart

Have questions?

Book a Dementia Detective
call and talk to a DBD expert!