My sister and I recently moved our 92 year old mother to assisted living. She lived in another state and has Alzheimer's, macular degeneration, hearing loss due to an accident… We wanted her close to us, and we visit daily. She hates her room, complains about the food,etc. she asks the same questions & expects rapid responses. We cannot even get her to eat a meal without being agitated & confused. She's a mess and I'm a mess! How can I help her adjust?


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Thank you for writing in. I understand your stress, it can be tough making the transition to memory care. For one, I wouldn’t remind her that she’s “living there now.” Can you pretend it’s a hotel she’s staying in? If you guys treat it like a vacation, maybe she will, too. I have a resident who is doing this currently. She thinks she’s here only temporarily, so she’s happy!

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Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

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