“My [insert loved one here] isn’t like these people.”


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“She doesn’t need to move to a care community yet.”

“He’s not like these people.”

“Her memory isn’t that bad.”

“He only got lost the one time.”

If you’re telling yourself these things, it’s probably time to move your loved one to a care community. Here’s the bottom line: your loved one cannot make a safe decision for themselves any longer.

Even though your loved one told you years ago that he or she “never wanted to be moved into a ‘home’”, it doesn’t let you off the hook! Your loved one, at some point, is not capable of making a safe decision for themselves. Is she leaving the stove on? Is he getting lost in a familiar neighborhood? It’s past time to make a plan: you need to start acting on a plan immediately. Be it bringing in a home care agency for 24-hour care, or considering a local care community, a decision must be made soon.

There are about a million reasons that you may be considering a care community move for your loved one. 

Let’s review some of them that may be affecting you or your family:

Behavioral challenges – Your loved one is behaving in odd or unpredictable ways, and keeping him or her at home just isn’t working well anymore

You’ve tried other options – You’ve tried home care and day care, but it looks like your loved one is starting to progress to a level where he or she may need 24-hour assistance 

Environmental challenges – Your house isn’t equipped for taking care of a loved one at home, or maybe one of you lives in another state

Engaging care – Your loved one needs more than they are getting wherever they are. Perhaps they could benefit from socializing, but you’re still too afraid to “move them.”

There are a lot of different types of care options, but it’s up to YOU to pick the right one. Not making a decision, just because your loved one “told you that he/she wants to live at home,” is not an option.

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Rachael Wonderlin is an internationally-recognized dementia care expert and consultant. She has a Master’s in Gerontology and is the author of three published books with Johns Hopkins University Press. Rachael owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting and education company.

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